So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
