Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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