So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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