I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
