My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
