Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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