Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
