hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
