I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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