i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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