I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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