some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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