this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
