What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
so much tequila, so little girl.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
