i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just made out with a guy for $7.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
