this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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