if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
