Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
