Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
