Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
