Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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