just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
