I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
