The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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