dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
