'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
