Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
