Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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