What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
do nipples grow back?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
