You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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