He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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