I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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