I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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