Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
