i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
