Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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