i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
