I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
