I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize