Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
