I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
