either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
