I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
