my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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