Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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