There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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