How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
