Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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