Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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