I wish you could order shots online.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
