Where is the hickey?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
