he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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